Nasal Lavage

Nasal Lavage/Nasal Irrigation

In other words, wash out those cooties out of your nose!

So, your chiropractor told you to do some nasal lavage,(nasal irrigation) or you found it on the Internet. So, here you are, wondering how to wash that nastiness from your sinus passages, because you’re exhibiting sickness symptoms, or are an opera singer, or suffer from sinus infections or sinus backups.

Keep in mind that although this is a disgusting process, the end result is going to make you feel awesome.

Lavaging 101

Beware! What you are about to learn is TOTALLY REVOLTING AND DISGUSTING!!!

So here’s the most important lesson:

1: You need an ISOTONIC SOLUTION.
An isotonic solution is one that matches the salts and acidity of your body. You can pay A LOT of money for this “magic combination”, or you can make it indefinitely with items you probably already have…Keep reading:

Here’s the magic recipe:

– 1 cup of warm water
– 1/4 teaspoon of salt
– 1/4 teaspoon of baking soda

2: You need a way to get it up your nostril(s).
The easiest way, in my opinion, is to buy a “baby snot remover”, the syringes found at the drugstore. You can “go traditionally”, and get what is called a “Neti pot”, something which looks like one of those ancient oil lamps from “WAAY back in the day”. (There is a photo below) Or you can do the free method, and actually, sniff it up from your curled palm. Social dictums indicate that you really should have a more elegant means of delivery than your own hand.

3. You need to work up the courage to do the nasty, gross, disgusting part. (ready?)

4.You need to or squeeze up, or pour up, suck up, some of that salty water into one of your nostrils.

Breathe through your mouth, and fight the urge to run/ vomit/ freak out. Remember, lots of people do this activity daily and survive. Once that nostril is full or you can’t pour or suck any more in there, then rapidly close that nostril by squeezing your finger against it, and GENTLY blow through the other nostril. Look at the beautiful artwork one can make with snot!

5.Repeat once or twice more, until the orangey yellow goo is gone.

Interestingly, the yellow/ green/ white/ kaleidoscope colors are due to proteins, not because of a certain bacterium or virus. Wash it out. It’s gross, regardless of what it is. We recommend doing this twice a day, and no more. Believe it or not, snot is a great way for your body to fight off nastiness that you breathe in every day. Too much lavaging, however, and you will strip out the mucus part that traps the nastiness.

7. You need to pass this on to a friend.

Hopefully, you will enjoy the experience, and share it with a friend… a clean nose is a happy nose!

Here’s a recipe for fake snot from the Grossology website:

To make borax solution

– Place 1/8 cup of borax laundry booster into a 1/2 liter of warm water.
– Shake until most of the borax dissolves
– Let cool

To make fake snot:

– Place 2 spoonfuls of Elmer’s glue into a cup
– Add 3 spoonfuls of water
– Stir
– Add 2 drops of green food coloring
– Stir
– Pour into a baggie
– Measure 1 spoonful of borax solution
– Dump into baggie
– Squish the baggie to mix
– Remove your snot
– Fake a sneeze